I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
You are the jesus of drinking
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
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