gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
My biggest accomplishment thus far this summer is having sex 5 weeks after hip surgery.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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