Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
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So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
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You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
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