I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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