I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
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