some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
Randomize
