Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
apparently i peed in my fridge last night because my vegetable drawer was filled with it.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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