i think i have two assholes
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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