sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
