Please don't use social media to get back at me.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
