I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize