I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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