I am full of burrito and curiosity
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
