So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
