His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
Olympics start in one day, that gives us 24hrs to think of gold medal worthy drinking games
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Don't be alarmed at the kitchen mess. I had to shoot the fire extinguisher on the toaster oven, one quick blast. It was a matter of safe over sorry.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
