She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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