even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
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WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
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Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I wasn't going to drink. Then there was alcohol so I gave that up.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
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