I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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