We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
Happy heartbreak day....you got chocolates, I'm eating them/ throwing them out the window at passing couples
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
body shots are frowned upon at family weddings. i'll keep that in mind next time. maybe.
We call her skankles because she's a skank and she has cankles, I thought that was obvious
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
