he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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