My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
To my ex and my favorite mistake: I totally enjoyed hearing you have erectile disfunction via baby monitor!
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Bank just called....we left my debit card in the ATM last night.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
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