New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
