you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Liquor has joined the party. Aly just fucking yelled "I LOVE COOKING" and poured margarita mixer, ice and tequila into the blender.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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