I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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