Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
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