toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
Randomize
