She's JV to your varsity
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
He isn't understanding any of my Fetty Wap references. He may not be a keeper after all.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize