break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Randomize
