Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
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