I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
