His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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