that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
