Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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