Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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