please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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