Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Randomize
