Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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