Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
