hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
Randomize
