I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
My pussy is making all kinds of justifications that my mind would have no patience for if it was still in charge
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
I seem to have forgotten that I am wearing a one piece bathing suit under my clothes
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
