there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
Randomize
