maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Do you realize we were driving someone else’s car and I was holding the wheel while you were driving and sucking my dick. That’s NOT normal
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
