And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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