Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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