do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Randomize
