Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
when a 14 year old is judging you, you know you've had too much to drink
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
