And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
