lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
Randomize
