there was a trapeze. enough said
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize
