Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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