I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Our 450 pound cab driver smells like McDonalds and sunblock with a touch of vodka. Correction I smell like vodka.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
You are a genius and a whore.
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
