Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
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