haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Farmville is her only friend.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
I mean like, my liver will beg my brain for mercy. Brainll be like I'm Greg Jennings. Liverll be like I'm Darren Sharper. Brainll be like hold my diiiiick.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
Randomize
