So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
Randomize
