Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
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