I'm really into asian looking animals
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
