biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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